SnotGate!

So much mucus! I have a cold. It's been going on for almost 2 weeks now!

It's unbelievable the amount of snot and mucus that can build up in your sinuses to be expelled from your nose. Not only that, but the rate of regeneration of more mucus is at such a rate not seen since the gestation period of bio weapon aliens in PROMETHEUS!!!!

Speaking of the big film, I had high hopes for this as I am a big fan of Alien/s and I have to say I came out a tad disappointed. I liked the big answer to the big question we all had, but I didn't really like how it got there.

My main gripe was this. Call me pedantic, but if you have a space crew travelling to investigate the potential "most important answers in human history" (not to mention find the first(?) alien life in a galaxy far far away), is it too much to ask to have a crew that is professional, regimental even? Follows procedure? Has a discernable leader? Isn't a rag-tag bunch of sterotypical hollywood one dimensional archetypes?

Also, why pay Charlize Theron's hefty price tag if you're not going to give her anything to do? When she had her big reveal with old man make up Guy Pearce, I thought "Um I cared about x1000000000 times more with Vader and Luke".

Other than that the monsters were great, Fassbender as the Lawrence of Arabia robot was really great, as was the woman playing Ripley's mother/grandmother/great grandmother. Everything looked great and sounded great, even though I would've opted for a more sparse soundtrack, rather than blasting orchestral reveals screaming 'this is the most amazing thing we've seen since the Avatar jungle'.

A couple of the horrific sequences were indeed the most horrific to be displayed on the cinescope in quite some time and they were really effective. Performing your own last second alien abortion via Robo Doctor looks fairly unpleasant.

Yours Intelligence Insultingly,
Prof Dave